Creating Effective and Efficient Relationships

All life relationships are delicate things:  they require effort to maintain.  At times, one of the parties gives more and at other times recieves more.  They are full of values, ideals, compromise, and growth.  The really good ones can provide security and become life-long despite the trials they may encounter.

Building an effective and lasting relationship is a necessity for several reasons. For example, in a group or organization the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can be very frustrating. They can also demand too much of their members, infringing on their peronal time and space.  If the needs of the individuals of the group are not being met, the needs of the group will suffer and breakdown.

Consequently, people or other entities who depend on these groups will suffer as well.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is successful, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way, each member works for the good of the whole, the greater good,  and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other party’s feelings and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say; don’t just hear it. When the other party realizes this, they feel the importance given to them and respond openly and honestly.

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent to the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and gives us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.  Although all relationships reach different levels of maturity, assumptions can pray on any level.

Respect is the key to any productive and healthy relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. Ask for clarification when needed.  Ask if their needs are being met and ensure your needs are, too.

The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.

Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example, in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties. This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.  Ideal relationships are not 50/50 all the time.  Sometimes one party gives 90% in one area and 20% in another.  It’s not about meeting in the middle, just meeting on all areas.  Know each other’s strenghts and weaknesses so that this can be accomplished.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.

Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’.